Why I Rarely Travel with Friends
Today is Friendship Day, and it reminded me of a conversation with one of my closest friends here in Dubai. After wishing each other Happy Friendship Day, he smiled and said, “One day, I want to travel with you.”
I smiled back.
Not because I didn’t want him to come, but because I already knew what would happen next.
He’s a wonderful friend. Like many others, he has followed my travel stories, family road trips and blogs for years. Every time we return from another country, he messages me saying how incredible the journey looked. But over the years, I’ve realised that the moment I explain what my idea of travel actually looks like, most people quietly realise they don’t really want to travel with me after all.
That conversation reminded me of one question, I’ve been asked countless times over the years.
“You’ve travelled to nearly 100 countries. Why don’t you travel internationally with your friends?”
It’s a fair question.
People see the photographs, the scenic road trips, mountain passes, hidden villages, roadside cafés and cultural experiences, and naturally assume I’ve travelled the world with a large group of friends.
The truth is quite the opposite.
Apart from trips to Mumbai, where school friends, college friends, former colleagues and relatives often join me for a meal or a day out, I have almost never taken an international trip with friends.
Not because, I don’t enjoy their company or I don’t value friendship. But because, somewhere along the way, I realised we’re usually looking for two completely different things.
And that’s perfectly okay.
The biggest misunderstanding in travel today is that we use the words travel and vacation as though they mean the same thing.
They don’t.
A vacation is about slowing down. Sleeping a little longer, enjoying a beautiful resort, finding a beach, switching off from work and returning home refreshed. After working hard all year, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting that. In fact, I think everyone deserves it and I also do it.
But travel, at least the way I’ve come to understand it over the last two decades, asks something completely different from you.
It asks you to sacrifice comfort for curiosity, it asks you to wake before sunrise because somebody told you the mountain looks magical in the first light. It asks you to drive another four hours because a local mentioned a forgotten village that never appears in guidebooks. It asks you to change your plans because the tiny family-run café down the road serves food that tells you more about a country than any five-star restaurant ever could.
You don’t always return well-rested, but you return with stories. That’s why I rarely travel with friends.
Many people love travelling and very few love travelling the way I do. One of my favourite mornings happened in Croatia.
We woke long before sunrise because I wanted to reach a waterfall before the tourist buses arrived. The roads were empty, the air was freezing and the only sounds were birds waking up and water crashing into the valley below. Standing there with almost nobody around, I remember thinking that no photograph could ever capture what that moment actually felt like.
Most people would probably have preferred another two hours of sleep; I completely understand. But those are the moments I travel for. The same thing happens on road trips.
People often ask me how I manage to drive ten or even twelve hours in a single day.
The funny thing is… I barely remember the driving. I remember the shepherd we stopped to speak to in Albania. I remember the elderly couple running a tiny café in rural Greece. I remember a roadside bakery in Sweden where we stayed far longer than planned simply because the conversation was so enjoyable.
I remember driving from Bergen towards Oslo during my 2017 solo trip of Norway, when the owner of my hotel asked me a simple question: “Why are you going straight to Oslo? If you have the time, drive to Geiranger instead.” It made absolutely no sense on paper. Geiranger was in the opposite direction, adding hundreds of kilometres to an already long journey. But that’s the beauty of travelling. Sometimes the best decisions are the ones that completely ruin your itinerary. I changed our route without a second thought, and what followed was one of the most breathtaking drives of our lives. Towering mountains, waterfalls cascading down steep cliffs, emerald-green fjords and roads that seemed carved into the landscape reminded me that Google Maps doesn’t always know the best route, locals often do.
With this kind of changes in your plan is impossible with friends and groups. Over the years, Julius, Jordan and Sunitha have adapted remarkably well to my way of travelling. They know exactly what every trip with me involves. If sunrise is at 5:30 a.m., we’re already standing at the viewpoint before the first light appears. If Google Maps estimates a four-hour drive, everyone quietly assumes it will probably become seven because I’ll stop every time something interesting catches my eye. And if a local recommends another village twenty kilometres away or suggests taking a completely different route, the itinerary changes without debate.
That kind of spontaneity is only possible because my family understands why we travel. We don’t leave home with a rigid checklist of attractions. We leave with an open mind, knowing that some of our best memories will probably come from places we never planned to visit. Somewhere along the way, this stopped being my way of travelling and quietly became our family’s way of seeing the world.
People often tell me how lucky I am that my family enjoys travelling the way I do. The truth is, they didn’t simply enjoy it from day one, we grew into it together. After visiting more than 40 countries as a family, they know that the best travel experiences often begin the moment we abandon the original plan.
That’s also why travelling with friends can be challenging for someone like me. It isn’t because I don’t value friendship; it’s because every traveller has different priorities. Some want to sleep a little longer, others prefer shopping, relaxing at the hotel or sticking to a carefully planned itinerary. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it leaves very little room for the spontaneity that has given us some of our most unforgettable travel memories.
Of course, travelling with friends has one major advantage, and that’s the cost. Over the years, I’ve rented cars and motorcycles costing anywhere between US$250 and US$400 per day. Split that between four friends and suddenly the journey becomes far more affordable. Hotels become cheaper, fuel costs are shared, apartments make more sense than hotel rooms, and even meals become an experience because everyone orders something different. Financially, group travel is a brilliant idea, and I’ve probably spent thousands of dollars over the years that I could have easily saved by travelling with friends.
The challenge isn’t the money, it’s the compromises that inevitably come with it. Someone wants another hour of sleep, someone isn’t interested in visiting another museum, someone would rather spend the afternoon shopping than driving through the countryside, while someone else simply wants to head back to the hotel. None of those choices are wrong because everyone travels differently. They’re just different from the experiences I’m chasing.
The Lost Mumbaikar Says
“I would rather pay more for complete freedom than save money by compromising the way, I explore the world. A vacation with few friends helps you to save more but travel has the power to change the person who returns home”.
That’s probably why Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara has always been one of my favourite travel films. Most people remember it as a movie about three friends holidaying in Spain. I don’t.
For me, it’s one of the finest films ever made about the true meaning of travel. The journey begins as a vacation, but somewhere between skydiving, scuba diving and running with the bulls, the holiday quietly transforms into something much deeper. Arjun stops living only for deadlines and corporate success. Kabir begins questioning whether he’s living the life he truly wants rather than the one expected of him. Imran confronts emotions and relationships he had buried for years.
They don’t return from Spain with better photographs, they return as different people.
That’s what real travel has always meant to me. It isn’t just about discovering a new country; it’s about discovering a new version of yourself. Every unfamiliar road, every conversation with a stranger, every challenge and every moment outside your comfort zone slowly changes the way you think. Long after the passport stamps fade, those lessons remain.
Perhaps that’s why I’ve never been interested in simply collecting countries. I’ve always been more interested in collecting perspectives.
Will I ever travel internationally with my friends? I genuinely hope so.
Not because I want to convince them that my way of travelling is better, but because I’d love them to experience the kind of journeys that have shaped my life. I hope they’ll understand why I happily wake before sunrise to watch the world come alive, why I don’t mind driving another five hours because a local suggested a hidden village, and why some of my happiest memories came from places that were never part of the original itinerary.
And if that day ever comes, I’ll happily save them a seat in my car not to show them another country. But to show them another way of seeing the world.
Your Turn:
- Are you a vacation traveller or an explorer at heart? What matters most to you when you travel?
- Now that you’ve read this blog and understand how I travel… would you still want to travel with me?
Frequently Asked Questions(FAQ)
1. Is travelling with friends always a good idea?
Travelling with friends can be a fantastic way to reduce costs and create shared memories. However, successful group travel depends on having similar travel styles, priorities and expectations. If one person wants to relax while another wants to explore, compromises become inevitable.
2. What’s the difference between travelling and taking a vacation?
A vacation is primarily about rest, comfort and recharging, while travelling is about exploration, learning and experiencing new cultures. Travel often involves stepping outside your comfort zone, meeting locals, trying new foods and embracing the unexpected.
3. Why do some people prefer family travel over travelling with friends?
Family travel often works well because everyone understands the group’s travel philosophy. Over time, families develop similar routines, expectations and priorities, making it easier to enjoy spontaneous road trips, cultural experiences and authentic adventures together.
4. Why are road trips one of the best ways to experience a country?
Road trips give travellers the freedom to explore beyond famous landmarks. They allow you to discover hidden villages, scenic routes, local cafés and cultural experiences that most tourists never see, making the journey just as memorable as the destination.
5. Can travel really change the way you think?
Absolutely. Meaningful travel exposes you to different cultures, traditions and ways of life. It challenges assumptions, builds confidence, encourages curiosity and often changes your perspective long after the journey has ended.
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